Budgets Budgets Budgets

Ok. Budget is NOT my favorite word. I associate the word budget with math and instantly my mind seizes up in fear or disgust, I’m not really sure which, because once someone introduces the likelihood that I would have to pull out an abacus (ok, calculator – but it really does feel that dreadful), I check out. The rest of whatever they say seems like so much “Wah, wah, wah” all the adults speak in Peanuts TV specials.

But, one of my big goals for myself was to never EVER NEVER be in the position I was in last year when I was getting a divorce. I had thrown all my eggs into the basket of my marriage. I had NOT saved a dime in any sort of separate fund. I had quit my job and was a full time mommy. (Now please, I don’t slam SAHMs but let’s face it, you lose some financial power when you don’t have a payroll check with your name on it, a 401K, in your name, with funds deposited regularly and your own credit cards). I also am not in complete favor of totally separate accounts when you are married. Still – I knew things were bad. I knew our marriage was extremely shaky.
Had I been smart, I would’ve had a backup plan. I also wouldn’t have let yet another man screw my credit score. In between marriages, I had worked really hard to repair the damage marriage #1 had wrought on my credit. I finally had a great credit score. But there I was a second time, in the aftermath of marriage #2, with even worse credit this time around. Why? Because I wasn’t firm in standing up for my financial rights. I didn’t take responsibility for my actions and I let someone else (read: ex-husband) tell me what WE were going to do with MY credit. (His credit was non-existent because he was a foreigner so anything having to do with credit was done in my name.)
I also had a difficult time finding a job in last year’s economic climate. Even with a Master’s degree under my belt, being out of the workforce for mommy-hood put a dark smudge on my resume. (I felt this was unfair, but fairness usually has NOTHING to do with the reality of how life plays out.)
So for most of this year, I’ve been treading water and a few times I feared I would go under for good. I found a job (a job I LOVE) but was so far in the hole and was making so little at the time, every dollar was a struggle. As I proved myself and my income increased (and still is in the process of doing so, Thank God), I began making changes in how I do things and where I spend my money. But budgeting was still a scary thing for me.
This is where my life coach, Jennifer Priest stepped in. Together, over the last few months, we’ve been creating a plan and making steps to take the fear out of budgeting and make my financial goals a reality. Over the next few weeks, I’ll discuss what happened, not just on a practical level, but how facing my finances and budget head on impacted me emotionally and spiritually. And, I’ll give you a glimpse of what’s to come and how I plan on getting there.
If you have a tip or somehow relate to what I say, please share! I am NOT an expert, only a real woman sharing her real story.