Somedays

I’m happy I’m single. Most days I find myself content with being alone, raising my children, living my life. I’m not ready for a relationship and all that entails at this point.

But there are some days and there are some weeks, like the day I had today and the week I’ve had this week, when I hate being alone. When I walk in the door, the weight of the world on my shoulders, and wish I had someone standing there, with strong arms I could lean into, to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be ok. Who is, in whatever situation I find myself in, facing the challenges side by side with me. Someone who could wipe the tears away and silently, with their presence, give me strength.

Yes I have friends. And yes I’m sure I could call them, if I could catch them when they aren’t busy with children and jobs and husbands and boyfriends, and cry on their shoulders. But my problems aren’t theirs and they are only looking at them from the outside. Sometimes it makes a difference when you know the person holding you up knows exactly what you are going through.

I know I’ll make it. I know I’ll get through whatever bump in the road I’m facing now. I don’t doubt myself. But there are just some days….