Not in the Mood

I’ve not been in the mood to write much. Earlier today, I got three sentences in on a post about needing acceptance and realized I just didn’t have it in me to write. Maybe later I’ll get to it. I’m working through my grief. Divorce is painful. It’s not just the relationship I’m mourning but the loss of dreams, the hopes, the plans. I feel introspective right now. How did I get here? Why did I make this mistake again? How can I heal and move past this? What lessons do I have to learn?

I think the best way for me to handle this is to be compassionate with myself. To acknowledge the emotions as they bubble up and allow myself to feel them without drowning in them. To not suffocate them or try to suppress what I’m feeling. And I need to realize it’s just a part of the process and there is no easy way to recover.

I’m blessed in having the support of family and friends, as well as my fabulous life coach, Jennifer Priest. In my last session with her, I was discussing my need for acceptance from family and how to balance that with my need to assert my independence. Not exactly an easy task to do. But I think it starts with having confidence in my right to my own beliefs and ideas. And giving myself permission to think for myself.