Still Going

It’s been awhile since I posted. I’m keeping my head down, searching high and low for a job and basically focusing on what needs to happen for my children and me. I miss blogging, but some thoughts are too private to post during a job search. I never know what could be taken the wrong way and I have to be smart for my children.

One thought that gets me through this time – it’s only temporary. Someday, things will smooth out. I’ll look back on this with a mix of ‘Thank God it’s over’ and ‘I was able to still enjoy life & hold special memories’.

I remember other times in my life that were difficult – my first divorce, for example. My son and I lived with a girlfriend for a month until I could get on my feet. I worked two jobs and was a single mom. It was difficult. I had days when I was scared out of my mind, depressed and worried. But I also remember the days of simple play with my son. The time when I went to buy play-dough for him and got caught in a rainstorm. He thought it was hilarious fun that mommy’s glasses blew off her face, while she made a mad dash from the store to the car and even at 8 years old he still brings it up.

And then the numerous times my best friend and I would fix milkshakes for the kids (mudslides for us) and play Anastacia and Sweet Home Alabama as we danced around the living room. Or the time her house nearly caught on fire. We were watching a movie inside and kept noticing a flickering light in her yard. I kept looking at it thinking ‘something is wrong with that lightbulb’. When we finally realized it wasn’t a light bulb but the side of her house on fire, one got the water hose while the other grabbed a bucket of water and frantically put it out. Later, we laughed (and still do from time to time) about how slow we were to realize, but the fact that we made it through safe and without any serious damage to the house makes it easier to laugh about it now.

I don’t know exactly which memories will make the lasting impressions. But I’m determined not to focus on the negative. I know I have to face certain facts. Like, A) I’m unemployed and B) I’m a mom of 3 and C) I don’t have much time to ‘get it all together’. But I do know I want my kids to feel secure and happy. I also know I want to enjoy what is to be enjoyed as I can.

Life is a journey. It’s a gift. There will always be a struggle or obstacle to be faced. It’s not the circumstances that matter so much as how we face them. Do we bow under pressure, give up, go under? Or do we cherish the present and enjoy the small miracles that unfold around us?

I don’t know about you – but I know how I want to answer that one.