I’ve spent the day wondering why I’ve felt blue and lethargic all day. I’ve not wanted to succumb to this feeling so I exercised, cleaned the upstairs, organized linen and medicine closets. Anything to try and keep me from feeling so crappy. And then it dawned on me.
Since last Monday (or was it Tuesday?), I left the house only once. I take care of the kids all day, the only break being when they sleep at night and between 6:00 and 7:30 when my ex plays with them after work. And it feels like I am constantly cleaning the house and never seeing results for very long. It’s bad enough to have two little boys to pick up after. What pisses me off is my ex. He is the biggest slob I’ve ever met. I’m getting sick of the dirty diapers found in random places. What does it really take to pick up the diaper he just changed and THROW IT IN THE TRASH! Really. How hard can that be?

And WHY OH WHY does he insist on leaving his dirty UNDERWEAR in MY room??? To make matters worse – he throws it on top of a wooden sculpture I bought in Fiji. It has sentimental value and I’m sick of the thought of his poo poo germs on something that has value to me. (For those who don’t know, my ex and I are living together until we can afford to pay for two houses in this god forsaken expensive place of the country or something miraculous happens, like I get to move back home. He lives in a separate part of the house. We are supposed to share household duties but that doesn’t happen much.)

And the kitchen? Oh he NEVER (or at least very rarely) helps in there. I cleaned up the kitchen before I left this weekend. Dishes, counters clean – all that. I come back. It is a WRECK. Food everywhere, dishes piled up, trash everywhere. I keep thinking, ‘Surely he doesn’t expect me to do that for him.’ Monday morning – everything was still a disaster. Tuesday morning – yep! I cleaned up the dishes from the dinner THAT HE ATE the day before but all his food & trash from Sunday was STILL THERE. I’ve gone through this before. Waited to see how long he’ll take to clean up after himself. And almost always I end up doing it. I’m sick of it. You’d think seeing how he eats the dinner I make, he could at least take care of his own plate and silverware. Nope. Maybe once every two weeks he will. I am SO AGGRAVATED. Can you tell?

So, added to the lack of sleep and the fact I have practically no help or break from everything, I can understand why I’m in a funk today. I need quiet. I need rest. I need a full day of recovery. Maybe more. I’m starting to get cranky. But I bet you could tell that.

Welcome back!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm and is filed under Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.