Let Me Introduce Myself

It was a weekend of contrasts. I had a blast with my friend Krista (@BUTTERFLEYES). We enjoyed a mellow weekend of shopping, chick flicks and karaoke. But I was also struggling with the emotional aftermath of the divorce. I faced a painful truth. I, and I alone, had to dig deep and find the strength and compassion for myself. What I needed couldn’t be found in external situations or relationships. And an amazing thing happened. I found that strength. And, in the process, introduced myself to an amazing person.

I met a woman. She’s wonderful, talented, intelligent, compassionate, generous, caring and beautiful – all these things.

She’s a loyal friend. When a friend calls with trouble, she’ll stop what she’s doing and give full attention and support. She keeps secrets and never betrays a trust. She never judges and never stops loving. If she makes a mistake, she’ll admit it. If she thinks she hurt her friend, even unintentionally, she feels horrible about it and sends flowers.

She’s caring and generous. When a new kid shows up in third grade on Valentines Day, she’s the sort who’ll sit by the new girl and share her valentines and candy so the girl doesn’t feel alone. She’ll stand up for the french horn player being picked on for being obese in band class because injustice angers her and she never likes to see anyone feel pain. She’ll even, albeit misguided, make trouble with the bully in ninth grade who tortures the slightly brain-damaged girl in class because she feels the pain of others’ intensely and hates to see a friend in pain. She’s been known to share the last of the little bit of money she has when another friend has a need or give it to the charity for homeless children because she can’t stand the thought of a small child going hungry or not having new pens for school even when it hurts to give. Or maybe she does this because she knows what it’s like to hurt for money.

She’s very intelligent, reads voraciously and is a fast learner. She earned a scholarship to pay full tuition & books for her last two years of her bachelor’s degree and earned her Master’s while working full time and taking care of her baby. And, she did all of that while consistently earning a 3.75 GPA, joining two honor societies, working full time jobs and doing volunteer service in the projects in her city. (The thought of little children in pain and needing someone to say they are awesome and can do anything are great motivators for her.)

She’s artistic. She paints, draws, sings, writes and has even been known to compose music & play in public for others. You can see her artwork throughout this post. And hear a clip of her singing, here.

She has a great sense of humor, goofy at times, but it’s there. And if she gets bogged down and too serious and someone points it out to her, she’ll rectify it and thank her friend for reminding her life needs laughter.

Family is important to her. More than she can say, she values the bonds of family and friendship and would give anything she had to a friend or family member if it were in her power to give it.  Her daydreams of winning the lottery start with how much money she would want to share with those close to her and the home she’d buy for her mom, dad and grandma so they wouldn’t have to worry about mortgage or rent and be able to relax and enjoy life.

She’s a great mom. She makes mistakes. But she admits them and apologizes to her children because she thinks it’s important to teach them humility and help them learn from her mistakes. She believes her greatest goal as a mom is to teach her children to be self-sufficient and for them to always feel her love. She would do anything for her children and protect them from any evil to the best of her abilities.

She believes you can tell the character of a person by how they treat the people they don’t have to be nice to. Her litmus test is watching how an individual treats people in the service industry and she has a low tolerance level for people who are rude to waiters and waitresses.  She believes every person deserves dignity and respect and if she ever fails her own standards, it burns her conscience for years to come. It’s important for her to understand where other people are coming from, even when she doesn’t agree. She loves and she forgives and she tries her hardest to be the best person she can.

I’ve only just begun to love and appreciate this woman. I should’ve been doing so all along but it took me a while to fully see her. This woman is me.