I’d Like to Thank the Academy…

Warning: This post was written in the future. It is not to be taken as a distortion of facts or a padding of a resume. Any attempt to verify this information would require an intimate relationship with Lisa Williams or Allison Dubois.

It’s been a hectic but fulfilling day for me. I’ve been on the phone most of the day with Oprah’s people, nailing down details for Moira’s Gift, the next Book Club Selection. It was a joy to even be considered; something beyond my wildest dreams. Of course, winning the Pulitzer prize was the ‘let us blow your mind to bits beyond reality’ call. I’m in company with Toni Morrison, the last American to receive this award, for goodness sake! Forget pinching, I’ve been slapping the hell out of myself all morning  just to see if I’m actually awake.

Of course, between The View calling for an interview and Stephen King asking me to join his band, my hand AND my face burns like a bitch. I guess I need to switch to pinching after all. People are gonna think I get beat by my husband.

I guess I really am awake. And Ben Affleck has started calling, trying to convince me to work a deal with him so he can have movie rights. He did a good job with ‘Gone Baby Gone’ so I’m seriously considering it. To top it off, People Magazine called. Something about ‘Sexiest People’. But when I slapped myself that time I didn’t feel it. So, either I was daydreaming or my face is now numb from the pain.

Anyhoo – I think my favorite interview will be with Ellen though. The girl is frickin’ funny. Looking forward to doing the dance with her. Well, I have to go cash this 7 figure check (OMFG) and the phone’s ringing again. Write more later…..