Exhausted and Ready for Normalcy

I’ve been off for a while -  unfortunately, it’s one of those times when life comes rushing on you and you sort of deal with everything in a haze.

My step-brother died at the age of 25 from alcohol poisoning. Senseless. Tragic. And now, we are a family left to mourn. My heart goes to my Dad and Step-Mom and sister. I’ve been away for so long I didn’t recognize the 10 year old I use to play with. The last time I saw him, at christmas, seems so long ago now. And it was in and out with him. He came by, I gave him a ride somewhere, but he was caught up with his friends and hanging out and partying that he didn’t really stick around much. Now I wonder if I could have, should have done more to connect with him.

So, last week I made a whirlwind trip to Illinois to be with my family. I spent one day at home and left again, with kids in tow this time, to be with my mom in Texas for just a few days. She’s been in the hospital since July 5th. I’ve been wanting to come and see her, but like most moms, she was more worried about the money I would spend to get there. But, after finding out about my brother’s death and hearing my mom’s voice over the phone Sunday when she found out she was getting worse and not better – I decided not to listen to her, bought our tickets, loaded up the kids and took them to see grandma. I thought seeing the babies would make her feel better and it did.

Now, I’m getting ready to fly back home tomorrow. I’m exhausted. I’m ready to get back to a regular schedule. I’m ready for normalcy.