The Jena Six. For most Americans, it is a news story – apalling, repugnant – but just a news story. For me, it hit a little closer to home. My father’s family is from Jena. My octagenarian grandfather was superintendent of the school district for many years.  My father played with the current Jena High School principal after school when he was a kid. It’s a place I visit periodically for Christmas or Thanksgiving. And as sad as the story makes me, I can’t say I’m surprised.

Actually, my dad grew up in Summerville, a place so small, you could literally pass it if you happened to sneeze when you drove by. In fact, other than the Free Methodist Church, which is close to extinction, and Rooster’s, a gas station that sells incredibly tasty boudain balls, it’s hard to tell you’ve made it to town. And going to the city means driving 20 miles to Jena, which by comparison is almost cosmopolitan. 

I love my family. Flaws and all. I love my great-aunts. Women, who would give the shirt off their back for someone they loved. Literally. But these same women would stun me when visit after visit, they spewed off-hand comments about how Black people were to blame for most societal ills and petty crimes of the neighborhood. It made me uncomfortable and I blamed it on their age – in their 80s, they were still living as though the civil war might still be won by the south. When they’d get started, I often left feeling dirty, disgusted and thankful that my parents raised me with a different set of values.

Having said all this, I was not surprised at all to hear that one of the biggest stories of the year involving bigotry and racism was in Jena, Louisiana. As an American, it shames me that we haven’t progressed farther in race relations. As a white person, I’m even more ashamed and feel driven to do my best to stand up for freedom, civil rights and equality for everyone. As a mom, the story inspires me to teach my son right from wrong, to show him in action and word that all are created equal, to tell him the struggles of so many who have gone on before us that gave their lives so that their children and their children’s children may drink from the same fountain, ride in the front of the bus and attend the same schools and have the same opportunities.  I want him to know of their courage, bravery and strength and how it has enriched our lives today.

And that is why I’m writing this post, in a blog about women and balance and parenting. Because balance isn’t always just about what goes on in our own little sphere of the universe. Balance sometimes involves doing our little part to stamp out prejudice and hate. Teaching our children who Martin Luther King, Jr. was. Teaching them about Ghandi. Teaching them about civil disobedience and the struggles of minorities and how their struggles have impacted our world for the better. And hopefully, by teaching them these things and living life respectfully towards others, we will leave a mark that will continue to inspire love, peace and balance in this world. Because, as the human race, we are all connected – we are all one. And when one part of the body hurts, the entire body feels pain with it. The eye is not separate from the nose, neither the finger from the elbow. They cannot exist apart from the body and likewise, we truly cannot exist in the fullness we are meant to, when we are divided by hate, ignorance and prejudice. We cannot feel removed from Jena, removed from the injustice of 6 teenage boys that are facing ridiculous charges for their circumstances. We cannot feel distanced from these 6 teenage boys that faced the shame of not being allowed to hang out near the ‘white tree’ and feel the hatred of lynching nooses displayed in broad daylight.  Why? Because we are human – it is our race – and this is our shame and pain. And it is our action that will make the difference. It is our duty as parents to train our children in the way of peace.

Welcome back!

I’m always hearing in the news, from doctors and even my own husband about how drinking water is good for me. Recently I gave birth to my third son. When I started nursing him, I was incredibly thirsty each time he would feed. So, I drank TONS of water – on average 80 to 100 oz of water a day. I also dropped weight fast those first 6 weeks. Now granted, some of that is just losing the fluids my body retained during pregnancy but I do believe my body functioned better with having more water.

Lately, as I have begun to chase a toddler around, clean house again and take care of my youngest, I have stopped drinking the water. Instead of feeding my son in a quiet room with a glass of water on hand, I’ve found myself trying to feed while getting other errands done. (This is quite a challenge. With the help of a sling, I have even managed to fix my hair with my son attached!) As soon as I’m finished nursing, there is always something to attend to thanks to my curious two year old, usually involving a mop or towel of some kind. Breakfast has resorted to whatever my toddler didn’t eat on his plate and showers are more of a luxury. So, making sure I drink water has really fallen to the bottom of the list.

In the spirit of this blog, I’ve decided to give myself a ‘water challenge’. I vow to add water back into my daily routine as a part of the balance we need as women. For the next two weeks, after my morning coffee I will drink water instead of grabbing a soda when I’m thirsty. My goal is to drink at least 64 oz of water daily. I’ll post periodically how I’m doing with keeping up my challenge, as well as how I believe it is affecting me. I also challenge any other women or moms reading this to take better care of themselves by drinking more water as well.

I’m leaving now to get my first glass of the day. Bottoms up!

As promised, today I’m uploading a few examples of files I created for our own family nights.  I’ve not created anything fancy; simply things that will work for a busy mom wanting to throw something together for her children.

 The first file is a word document that I created to make our ‘plane tickets’.  It is a very generic word document. Feel free to download it and make the changes needed for your own family. Even though they look nothing like an actual plane ticket, it was a part of the whole night my son loved. I even let him be the ‘ticket passer outer’, as he put it, and hand everyone their tickets and then take them back as they boarded ‘the plane’.

Download this here.

The next file is a simple coloring sheet of Stonehenge. I always tried to pick something that we talked about during the power point or flight. Not only do the children enjoy coloring with the parents (yes, I colored sheets with them!), but it reinforces what you talked about. For instance, with the Stonehenge sheets, you can talk about where it’s located, what people think it means, how old it is, etc.  while you color. Usually I would do a search on Google about whatever it is I’m looking for (i.e., stonehenge coloring sheets). Another good resource is The Coloring Spot (www.thecoloringspot.com). They have free coloring sheets you can download and print and links to other resources for coloring.

Download Coloring Sheet

The last file is the powerpoint. It is very simplistic. I’m not trying to save the world or impress stock holders with it. It’s only to help spark the imagination of my children and teach them a few things along the way. Besides, if I made it too fancy, I probably wouldn’t continue it because it would be so difficult to maintain. I stay with the same basic format for every place we travel to so that it is easy to update for each destination. Again, feel free to download and adapt it to your tastes and destinations.

Download powerpoint

I hope you get some use out of these files and that it inspires ideas of your own. Feel free to post other cool family night activities or share how your own family night flight went. Ciao!

As a parent, I strive to engender excitement for learning in my child. I also want to create memories my sons will cherish as they grow and start their own families. I would like to think my sons will enjoy spending time with their mom and dad well into their teen years. Remembering my sixteen year old self, I can’t pretend to believe they will choose us on a Friday night over their friends. But I think the chances for having a real connection are greater if we start spending time together while they are young.

To that end, we have created a ritual in our family called family night. Family night is reserved for a special dinner of pizza (thank you, Papa Murphy’s) and an activity of choice for our children. It can involve anything from Candy Land to watching the Tivo’d Discovery Channel special on Ants. (Our children love it for some reason.) But my oldest son’s favorite family night activity is traveling around the globe.

We don’t physically travel anywhere, but to the imagination of a 5 year old, it is just as fun. And it’s much cheaper than a family vacation. When we ‘travel’, we let our son pick a spot on the globe. All week long, we talk about how exciting it will be to ‘travel’ to the special location. We build up the excitement in our children over breakfast and when we drop them off at school. And when it’s over, they talk about it for weeks, telling strangers at Wal-Mart how we traveled to Italy or France just last weekend.

Our travels our almost like a play. We each take turns playing the role of flight attendant, pilot and passenger, even to the point of the attendant passing out drinks and giving the air bag and exit door speech. The pilot points out to everyone when we are traveling over the ocean and how soon we land. (We usually fly while we eat our pizza around the dinner table). We even have tickets printed for our journey. And when we arrive, the magic of the internet takes over.

First, with Google Earth we show our children exactly how far it is from our home to our destination. My son really digs the ‘big blue ball’ as he calls it. Next, thanks to a little research ahead of time, we learn key phrases in the national language. (When traveling to another English-speaking country, it is always fun to point out differences. For instance, we use the bathroom while Canadians use the washroom). I almost always find printouts of the national flag and a map of the country and print them out for the children to color. I’ll even create a little PowerPoint of each country or city’s fun facts, pictures of famous landmarks and other interesting tidbits I come across as I look for things to do. And, if I can find something, we watch a cartoon or movie about the area. For instance, when we traveled to Africa, we watched the Lion King to reinforce the natural beauty of the country and its different animal inhabitants.

Not only do the children love our adventures, they learn about other cultures and enjoy their parents attention. For about an hours worth of preparation, we have a great time. And once you’ve created the first trip, you have an easy format to copy for other destinations.
Tomorrow I will examples of some of the PowerPoints and ticket stubs I created. Feel free to borrow them for your own family night. If you have any creative ideas for family night, please post them!

I’m the first to tell a person I don’t believe in Betty Crocker. The perfect woman – perfectly-coifed hair, perfectly-accessorized wardrobe, high-heel wearing, vacuum-pushing, cookie-baking mom just does not exist. I saw one once, but only on TV. If she is out there in the universe, I’m sure there is some deep dark Wisteria-lane inspired secret hidden in the recesses of a perfectly lined, sachet filled underwear drawer.

Having said that, I do appreciate a clean, organized home. (I can see my grandmother, the ultimate Queen of Clean, laughing when she reads this).  Have I always had one? Do I always have one? No. I have bad days, days when I would rather stay in bed and watch Oprah, days when there are so many dang things to be done cleaning seems overwhelming. I have often felt stretched between feeding a newborn, caring for a toddler, running a business, working on homework and chauffeuring everyone around that the dishes don’t get done, the laundry seems to collect itself exponentially and the vacuum cleaner gathers dust.

But I do have a secret. And assuming there are no major disasters or crises going on in my life, this one secret helps me quickly whip my house into shape and stay afloat for relatively long periods of time. (When you have three children, the house can quickly deteriorate in less than 60 seconds).

A quick disclaimer – this is not original material. I found this method at http://www.flylady.net/ when my oldest child was an infant and have relied on it ever since. By the way, this website has a great system and I recommend you check it out to see all their tips and tricks.

The greatest tool in organizing and doing a ‘quick clean’ for company is to use a timer. Any timer will do, egg timer, microwave, stove, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is to make sure that wherever you are in your home, you can here it buzz.

Start your cleaning in the kitchen – as the kitchen goes so the rest of the home follows. But set your timer for 15 minutes. Once the buzzer rings, stop cleaning in the kitchen and move to another room. Keep this up for 1 hour, continually moving from room to room, but only staying in each room for 15 minutes. After 1 hour, set the timer again for 15 minutes, but this time rest. Get a glass of tea, read your email, do some yoga stretches – whatever will make you feel more relaxed and ready to go for more. Once your 15 minutes is over, start the fifteen minute cleaning routine again. Tip – if you are cleaning for a special event, focus on those rooms that you know people will enter.

What I have found great about this is that I don’t feel overwhelmed. I focus only on what I can do in 15 minutes. I don’t worry about getting it perfect in those 15 minutes. But sometime during the second hour, my efforts become apparent. I also start with those things that make the most impact. For instance, clutter tends to make even a clean house look bad. So, I start removing any junk mail, trash, shoes, dishes, or clothes and put it in its place. And unless it is really obvious, I leave the dusting for last. 

But one thing that I do put importance on is a clean floor. When I’m trying to pick up fast and time is short, running the vacuum over the rug, even if I don’t get every nook and cranny, makes it appear to the casual observer that I did. And rather than mop the whole floor, on those occasions I need it done fast, I spot mop and work on those areas that truly need it. One note, and I do NOT get compensation for this – Swiffer Wet Jet has been wonderful for quick cleanups and unless you have a huge floor space, it is great for regular floor cleaning as well. I have tried other brands, but have found them lacking. The Swiffer is sturdy and easy to use. The pads stay on well, something I didn’t experience with off-brands.
Remember, for sprucing up in a rush, these tips will help guide you and keep you on track. First, use a timer. Second, clean and rest in 15 minute increments. Third, focus on those areas that guests will enter. Fourth, pay attention to areas that will make a high impact, particularly floors.

I’ll be back with more tips that have helped me. If you have your one tips, please feel free to leave a comment. I look forward to hearing from you!

I’m a woman like many other women. I work hard to maintain a balance between my family and career. Somewhere along the way, I began to lose a sense of myself. It was this realization that became the inspiration for starting this blog. I had a desire to share my struggles, triumphs and ‘lessons-learned’ with other women, while doing what I’m extremely passionate about – write.

Over the next days and months, I will post ideas, tips and resources I have found to be helpful. Feel free to grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair and join in on the conversation. If you have something you feel useful, please feel free to email me or add your comments. This website is for you.