So, I’m looking back over the last year, thinking about the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far. Here are my top three:

1. I’m the only one that can make me happy. I’m responsible for my own happiness. Not some man, not my children, not my friends or family. They can contribute, enrich my life, but they are not responsible for my happiness. Depending on someone else to make me happy ends in pain because even the best people are bound to disappoint or not quite be there when I want them to, the way I want them to be there. But, if I own the fact that it is my job to make me happy, the likelihood of said happiness is much greater. Plus, the pressure of an impossible job is off the people I love and care about. It leaves them free to share in whatever joy I create in my life. And knowing that I’m responsible for my happiness also means they can’t take it with them when they leave. Because whether they die or walk away, they will someday leave. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome back!

I’m happy I’m single. Most days I find myself content with being alone, raising my children, living my life. I’m not ready for a relationship and all that entails at this point.

But there are some days and there are some weeks, like the day I had today and the week I’ve had this week, when I hate being alone. When I walk in the door, the weight of the world on my shoulders, and wish I had someone standing there, with strong arms I could lean into, to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be ok. Who is, in whatever situation I find myself in, facing the challenges side by side with me. Someone who could wipe the tears away and silently, with their presence, give me strength.

Yes I have friends. And yes I’m sure I could call them, if I could catch them when they aren’t busy with children and jobs and husbands and boyfriends, and cry on their shoulders. But my problems aren’t theirs and they are only looking at them from the outside. Sometimes it makes a difference when you know the person holding you up knows exactly what you are going through.

I know I’ll make it. I know I’ll get through whatever bump in the road I’m facing now. I don’t doubt myself. But there are just some days….

Wow! After living here for nearly a month, I FINALLY have internet access. It feels good to sit in front of my laptop and type away on my blog. I’ve missed you guys. I’ve missed writing and commenting and talking with everyone. Hopefully, you’ve missed me too.

It’s been crazy hectic. Some days I feel the very grit of my soul being tested and can only say that being a single mom is VERY difficult. EVERYTHING depends on me. EVERYTHING. I can’t miss work, I can’t miss my kids parent teacher conference, I can’t miss being there for my kid when he’s sick. Some days I go to my room and collapse on the floor (I couldn’t fit my box springs up the stairs so my mattress is on the floor. Great, huh?), lock the door, give myself five minutes to cry and then wipe my eyes and go back outside to face the world.

I’ve had my mom in the hospital, my sister in ICU, vomity kids and a cranky ex-husband to deal with.

I can’t wait to catch you up on the ins and outs of where I’m at and how it’s going. I’m single now – no boyfriend because I promised myself I’d give it time, but I’m not gonna lie and say it hasn’t felt good to have men show interest in me. I could always use more money and hopefully a second part-time job will keep me from worrying about putting food on the table and keeping the lights on.

Please leave a comment and tell me hi. I’ve missed y’all here!

Ok – after taking two weeks to decompress during the holidays, I’m back and raring to go! First things first – I have a job. I was recently hired as a programmer. I’m pumped about the opportunity and think it will be a fantastic place to work.  It’s a few hours away from where I am, so I have to relocate, but I’m excited. I have some of the most fabulous friends in the world living there. I just have to find a place to live.

So now my adventure as sole provider and caretaker of my kids really begins. Check back for the adventures. I’m sure to share them with you! I hope you all had a great holiday season and a wonderful start to your new year!

My car is in the shop. It’s been there since Saturday. In fact, it is the third time since moving to Arkansas that I’ve had to take it in for repairs. Hopefully, this will be it for awhile. The last thing that will need to be fixed, but can wait, is the driver side window. It doesn’t roll up all the way. Makes for a bit of fun in the rain.
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Please note this is a sponsored post. I’ve not used Melrose Moving and can not give a personal testimony.

In one year, I’ve lived in three houses. If all goes well, I’ll move at least one more time. Moving can be a hassle. The packing, the boxes, the tape, the chaos as all your life possessions are categorized and put away. Read the rest of this entry »